12 August 2026

Today was a very good day. Challenging in a few respects, entertaining in many others, but most importantly, we all ended the day safely, in one piece, and still speaking to each other. For that alone, we should be thankful.

First, to the distinguished drivers of Aricato, our faithful iron chariot, thank you. There are few responsibilities greater than carrying the safety of an entire family across unfamiliar roads in a foreign country. Yet Tehaigari and Kirokugari handled that responsibility with professionalism worthy of a Japanese railway timetable.

Today ends with an impressive safety record of zero incidents and zero near-misses. The Health, Safety and Family Relations Department hereby expresses its gratitude.

Of course, no driving operation can remain safe when participants are hungry, dehydrated, or being overthrown internally by rebellious intestinal worms. It is therefore only proper to acknowledge the tireless efforts of our esteemed Yodogari, whose logistics support ensured that breakfast was consumed, snacks were plentiful, and water flowed freely. The breakfast was especially lovely and I believe all members of the travelling party benefited from the strategic deployment of snacks throughout the day.

Special recognition must also be given to Hitto Doraiba, who demonstrated extraordinary strength and spatial reasoning when loading several suspiciously heavy boxes into the very limited rear compartment of Aricato. Rumours that these boxes contained enough beauty products to start a small cosmetics company remain unconfirmed. Nevertheless, the operation was successful, and for this the Coordination Platform expresses its sincere gratitude.

No day would be complete without drama, and today’s opening episode was provided by The Great Terminal Incident of Narita.

While a frantic search operation was underway in Terminal 2, involving multiple inspections and the near-examination of innocent strangers’ luggage, Tehaigari was comfortably situated in Terminal 1.

I still do not understand how one confuses Terminal 1 with Terminal 2. Had it not been for the persistence and determination of Hitto Doraiba, Aricato might have departed without her, leaving Tehaigari to make her own way to Narita Tobu carrying her fashionable belongings on her head like a Prada distributor traversing the Lagos-Ibadan Expressway.

A brief apology is owed regarding the Narita Tobu buffet breakfast. It looked promising, but paying buffet prices for what would have amounted to approximately thirty minutes of eating appeared economically unsound. Sometimes difficult decisions must be made for the greater good.

One of the highlights of the day was undoubtedly the official naming of our vehicle. The birth of Aricato as a recognised member of the travelling party will remain one of my favourite memories of the trip. The collective creativity involved was impressive.

The only disappointment was that our Yodogari firmly refused to pour a ceremonial libation of Seaman’s Schnapps during the naming ceremony. Had this occurred in Nigeria, there would have been serious cultural consultations. Had it occurred in feudal Japan, it might very well have necessitated hara-kiri.

Fortunately, Aricato accepted her name with grace and mercy and allowed us to continue our journey. The drive itself was pleasant and efficient, and we arrived at Fujikawaguchiko comfortably in time for check-in.

On a separate note, did anybody else notice the police vehicle that appeared unusually interested in Tehaigari at one of the traffic lights? I shall not speculate, but I can confirm that my notebook has an entry.

As for Haostay, I shall reserve final judgement until tomorrow. My current observations include a challenging one-way lane leading to the property, a rice paddy somehow existing in the middle of a modern town, and toilet facilities apparently designed to challenge non-Japanese sized people. However, breakfast has the power to redeem many sins. Let us wait and see.

The leadership of Tehaigari in organising today’s visit to Chureito Pagoda must, however, be challenged. I remain convinced that she deliberately selected this destination as part of a coordinated effort to expose Yodogari and myself to ridicule and severe cardiovascular testing through the deployment of approximately 400 consecutive steps.

I am pleased to report that her plans failed magnificently. We reached the summit with our hearts still securely located inside our rib cages, our lungs operating at acceptable capacity, and our dignity mostly intact. When I finally reached the top, I experienced a moment of pure joy and triumph and loudly announced:

“I MADE IT!”

The reward was worth every step.

The view was breathtaking.

Some of the photographs taken there will surely take their place amongst the finest ever produced by this family. The Pagoda itself carries a message that transcends time and geography. One statement in particular remained with me:

“Express our hope for a peaceful world free of conflict.”

It is a beautiful sentiment.

Sadly, the architects’ hopes continue to be tested by the ongoing conflicts between Ukraine and Russia, Palestine and Israel, and the suffering continuing in Sudan.

Closer to home, their hopes were also tested by the ongoing conflict between Hitto Doraiba and Kirokugari. This dispute began yesterday, continued through much of today, and threatened a further escalation this evening.

Thankfully, diplomacy prevailed.

The matter was ultimately resolved through jaw-jaw rather than war-war.

The United Nations may therefore stand down.

The African Union can rest easy.

And the Nobel Peace Prize Committee may contact me privately for details.

For the avoidance of doubt, all proceedings have been carefully documented on video should any Nollywood producer wish to commercialise the matter.

Speaking of conflicts, we must now discuss Tontaro Restaurant.

My heart aches.

What should have been a pleasant family dinner evolved into an insult.

We arrived hungry.

We got served.

It was imitation Korean.

And then, they won’t accept our credit card, holding us as prisoners – a but the complete absence of any meaningful acknowledgment that our time had value. We appeared to have been drafted into an unpaid experiment concerning human patience.

An apology would have helped.

An explanation would have helped.

Instead, we received a masterclass in how not to manage customer expectations.

Still, every great story requires a villain, and perhaps Tontaro has nobly volunteered for that role.

Fortunately, the day offered many compensations.

The photographs at Lawson Station with Mount Fuji majestically positioned in the background were spectacular. The only remaining dispute concerns whether they were captured more effectively on Android devices or on the less distinguished Apple devices.

History will decide. The evidence currently favours Android.

Our stop at Lake Kawaguchi was equally memorable.

To walk beside such pristine water, surrounded by magnificent scenery and remarkable tranquillity, was genuinely uplifting. The lake possesses a calmness that is difficult to describe. Standing there, it was easy to imagine generations of people having paused in exactly the same place to appreciate its beauty.

Indeed, some members of our travelling party even suggested that dinosaurs might once have wandered the same shoreline in search of water. While the scientific evidence remains under review, the sentiment is appreciated.

And perhaps that is the real story of today.

Not the terminals.

Not the Pagoda.

Not the arguments.

Not even Aricato.

Rather, it is that five adults from the same family travelled together across Japan, navigated confusion, overcame challenges, laughed at one another, looked after one another, occasionally argued with one another, and still created memories that will be retold for years.

That is worth celebrating.

So, in the immortal words of Curtin University:

Let’s Make Tomorrow Better!

Breakfast: 8:00 am
Departure: 9:00 am sharp

Let us leave any remaining animosity here at Haostay, travel tomorrow as one team, and continue making memories together.

Japan has been wonderfully peaceful so far.

Let us do our part to help keep it that way.

Yours faithfully,

Kokaishi 🚗🏔️🇯🇵✨